EVERYBODY
GOT ONE.
A SHITTY
FRIEND.
The biggest rug wasn't crypto.
It was your friend.
THE NUCLEAR OPTION
"Are you tired of your friends talking absolute garbage in the group chat?!"
[VISUAL] A grainy man hurls his phone. A huge red X stamps the screen. BUZZER.
"Are you sick of the fake flexing, the terrible takes, and the constant digital nonsense?!"
"It's time to stop arguing. It's time to DROP THE HAMMER."
[VISUAL] Screen BURSTS into oversaturated color. Flames erupt. Host in neon suit + shades aggressively points at camera.
"Introducing the nuclear option for your social life: SHITTYAF."
"We have WEAPONIZED artificial intelligence for the sole purpose of TOTAL EMOTIONAL DESTRUCTION."
[VISUAL] Rapid-fire: servers melting, lasers from a smartphone, cartoon explosions.
"Our servers deploy an immediate, unhinged, precision-guided roast directly to their screen. Fast. Relentless. COMPLETELY UNFORGIVING."
"Your group chat will never be the same again. Stop taking the high road. Take the CHAOTIC road."
"DO IT. DROP THE BOMB!"